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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28686981">Count Your Steps</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlobbyBlobbyBlobfish/pseuds/BlobbyBlobbyBlobfish'>BlobbyBlobbyBlobfish</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emetophobia, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Racing thoughts, Sick Asahi, Sickfic, emeto, third years as second years</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:09:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,541</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28686981</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlobbyBlobbyBlobfish/pseuds/BlobbyBlobbyBlobfish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the fall of his second year at Karasuno, Asahi finds himself sick at a tournament.  And he's Scared.  </p>
<p>tw: emeto, emetophobia, racing thoughts</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Count Your Steps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Crossposted from a request.  Fun fact I'm actually emetophobic so this was really interesting to write.  Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eight steps down the hall, eight steps back.  Ten would bring him too close to the bathroom, unequal in both directions would move him too far from his team.  Not too fast so the bustling tournament didn't melt together and make him feel worse, not too slow so he could keep his focus away from how he was feeling.  </p>
<p>Asahi took a deep breath and shifted his hands so his thumbs pressed harder into the supposed pressure point near his wrists.  </p>
<p>Six… seven… eight, turn around.  One… two… three… Asahi continued counting his steps.  He had to focus on his steps, his breathing, keep from spiraling and giving in to his anxieties.  </p>
<p>He was used to feeling a little nauseous around matches, sometimes even to the point he couldn't really eat beforehand.  But that always felt like butterflies in his stomach - light, flighty, uneasy - and only went with a little light headedness that all quickly subsided as he got into the game.  </p>
<p>But that wasn't what he felt today.  Instead of butterflies it was a writhing mass of maggots, both weighing him down and crawling up his throat.  He felt that little bit too hot along with that head in the clouds feeling.  And it wasn't going away.  If anything, it was just getting worse.  It stuck through their entire first match, only increased as they watched part of another match,  and now it was so bad he was afraid to sit down.  </p>
<p>Four… five… </p>
<p>"Hey" </p>
<p>Asahi jumped, trying to ignore the spark of uneasiness going with it.  </p>
<p>"Hey, Suga," he said, continuing his steps.  </p>
<p>"We're going to need to warm up again soon.  You should relax a bit before then or you'll be all strung out during the match." </p>
<p>"Thanks, but I don't think I can do that right now." </p>
<p>That's eight steps.  He turned to restart the other way, but Suga put a hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to stop moving.  </p>
<p>Asahi just stepped through.  He couldn't stop moving.  If he stopped, if he slowed down… the feeling in his stomach and throat became more prominent at even the thought.  </p>
<p>"Asahi, you're just stressing yourself out, you need to stop." Suga placed himself directly in front of him, forcing Asahi to a halt.  </p>
<p>No no no.  He can't stop.  He squeezed his thumbs deeper into his wrists and gave his friend a pleading look.  Please just let him go… </p>
<p>"You'll be fine.  It's not Dateko, you're not gonna die..." </p>
<p>Asahi didn’t register the rest.  </p>
<p>He was in one place for too long.  He could feel the cold sweat starting to break out across his skin.  He had to move again, try to feel better, make it go away.  </p>
<p>"Are you okay? You just got really pale." </p>
<p>"Sorry, I just really need to keep moving." Asahi gingerly sidestepped Suga and retook up his pacing.  </p>
<p>What number was he on? He knew Suga meant well but he felt so awful and he might - no, don't think the word.  Not now.  </p>
<p>Maybe he was at two? We’ll go with two… </p>
<p>"Fine, but what's going on? Even scaredy cat you isn't usually like this." There was an edge to Suga's tone, just a little concern and exasperation, as he retook pace beside him.  </p>
<p>Suga wasn't going to leave him alone, especially without an answer, but even just talking was making him even more aware of the squirming inside him.  </p>
<p>He swallowed.  </p>
<p>"... I don't feel good." </p>
<p>"Are you sick? Look at me again for a second." </p>
<p>"... I can't" </p>
<p>If he looked over while moving he'd get so disoriented.  Turning around was already bad enough.  </p>
<p>"Okay, well-"</p>
<p>"ASAHI-SAN!!!" Nishinoya's voice interrupted Suga and cut through the hallway's chatter.  "We gotta go soon!” </p>
<p>He bounded up to them.  And halted abruptly as he registered Asahi’s uncomfortable stance.  </p>
<p>“Wait, are you okay? You look like you're going to throw up or pass out." </p>
<p>And there were the words he was trying to avoid thinking.  Because that's how he felt, and that's what he was so scared of happening.  He was going to throw up.  </p>
<p>Just the words finally cutting through brought him just that little bit farther.  Over the edge.  He was denying it, but it was about to happen.  A wave of lightheadedness hit him.  </p>
<p>Followed by even stronger nausea.  </p>
<p>Before either of his teammates could say anything, he turned and started walking towards the bathroom.  It was going to happen.  It could happen any second.  He couldn't do it out in the hall.  He couldn't do it at all, but especially not in the hall.  </p>
<p>He stepped into the bathroom, nearly running into someone, and dropped himself into the closest stall.  He quickly swept the door shut, only to find Noya in the way.  </p>
<p>He wanted to tell him to go, he couldn't see him like this, but he knew what was going to happen the second he opened his mouth.  (And he really wasn't sure if he could handle being alone right now.)  </p>
<p>Asahi sank to his knees and closed his eyes.  The telltale feeling was there now, moving through his whole body.  </p>
<p>An involuntary whimper escaped through his closed lips, and the first contraction of his stomach hit.  </p>
<p>Bitter acid took away his breath and a deep belch brought a wave of sick out of him.  He couldn't breathe, couldn't look.  He coughed for a breath, only for the next heave to force more out of him.  </p>
<p>He couldn't breathe, he couldn't look.  He only heard his own gags and vomit splashing into the toilet, only feel the sick pounding against his throat and hurting his ribs, only taste his own bile, only smell that signature acrid scent.  </p>
<p>It was awful and it wouldn't end.  He couldn't breathe.  He was going to die.  </p>
<p>"You're okay, I got you," Nishinoya said.  </p>
<p>A new feeling of a hand against his back added to the sensory overload.  </p>
<p>But that touch was a little more welcome.  </p>
<p>Asahi finished heaving, ending with no more than bile being forced out of him, Nishinoya's hand still on his back.  </p>
<p>He stayed there panting, only just now noticing the damp of his own tears mixing with his cold sweat, when Noya broke the quiet.  </p>
<p>"You feeling any better now?" The warmth in his back shifted and he heard the toilet flush.  </p>
<p>"I don't know," Asahi breathed.  He let his eyes reopen.  “I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>“Don’t be sorry, Asahi-san.  It happens.” </p>
<p>But it’s not supposed to happen.  Throwing up means something is wrong.  Everything works to keep everything processing in the exact opposite direction.  It’s not right and it’s not okay… </p>
<p>He shook his head and closed his eyes again.  </p>
<p>He could tell he was still sick, that it might happen again, and it would just be terrifying all over again.  </p>
<p>A shiver ran up his spine.  </p>
<p>“Hey, it’s okay.” The hand against Asahi’s back moved in little circles.  “Are you going to throw up again?” </p>
<p>Now? </p>
<p>Was he? </p>
<p>So soon? </p>
<p>Was he that sick? </p>
<p>Would he be okay? </p>
<p>His breathing quickened.  No, his stomach still squirmed within him, but all the other little tells weren’t in full swing.  He wasn’t going to be sick.  Yet.  </p>
<p>His usually powerful frame continued to tremble.  </p>
<p>“...not right now,”  he managed.  </p>
<p>“Okay, that’s good.  Do you want to get out of the bathroom? Wait, first, do you want to get cleaned up a little? Suga dropped off a waterbottle.” </p>
<p>“Uh, yeah.” Getting cleaned up was probably a good idea.  They were in a public bathroom after all.  </p>
<p>Oh right, they were in public.  Not only did he throw up, everyone there knew he did.  </p>
<p>So how could Noya sound so relaxed? </p>
<p>“Here.” Noya set the water bottle against his leg.  </p>
<p>“And here” he gathered a wad of toilet paper in his free hand.  “I’ll give this to you when you’re ready.” </p>
<p>“Thanks.” </p>
<p>Almost on autopilot, Asahi rinsed out his mouth, wiped down his chin and neck.  He didn’t know how he was moving, but he was.  </p>
<p>“Now would you like to leave the bathroom?” Noya asked when he was done.  </p>
<p>Asahi nodded.  He was tired, he was embarrassed, and he still felt awful - he just wanted to go lay down somewhere away from all the strangers.  </p>
<p>“Cool” Noya hopped to his feet and extended his hand.  “You want a hand up?” </p>
<p>Asahi took the offered help and got to his feet, still giving Noya a little more of his weight than he would have liked.  </p>
<p>“You good? Not going to pass out or anything?” The libero looked up at him.  </p>
<p>“I won’t pass out.  Just tired…” </p>
<p>“Okay.  I’ll guide you back to our stuff, just lean on me if you need to.” Noya wrapped an arm firmly around his back, starkly cool and dry against his sweat soaked shirt and clammy skin.  </p>
<p>“Someone will know what to do.  If Kurokawa doesn’t, I’m sure Daichi does,” Noya murmured when Asahi didn’t move.  “You’ll be okay.”</p>
<p>Okay.  He would be okay.  Noya said it.  Noya means what he says.  Asahi really didn’t know if he could believe that statement, but he trusted Noya enough to try.  </p>
<p>“Okay.” Asahi let them start moving, counting the six steps out of the bathroom.  </p>
<p>And sixteen more back to his team.</p>
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